11 January 2013

I smile when I feel like crying

salam petang

Actually i am facing a big problem this week but i ca manage all problem . I'm try to be happy alhamdullillah I am happy but inside like i am dying  yes . On the outside I'm always smiling, but on the inside I'm always dying. I smile when I feel like crying,I act like I am 

okay okay !! ,

 I'm soo lost and just don't know what to do... I think I'm going crazy... all I want to do is die so that I won't have to live the rest of my life this way... My mind is on auto-pilot and I can't seem to gain back the control over it... it never shuts up it worries about everything, and its driving me crazy... My anxiety is intense and everything is so dark, is there a way out of this misery?

 I don't really feel alive anymore...

Astagfirullahalazim .
Honestly I am tired to facing at all . I dont know when my problems will end . phewww I need to be strong person . Tapi nak jadi kuat tu sakitt sangatt . Depress lah sangat..kononnya lahkan , I'm tired of trying.  I'm tired of crying , I'm tired at all .

I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack.

I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.

What to hightight here ,  I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any of me left.

How can you understand me when I can't understand myself? impianafida


  1. you already make people really happy besides you,its not like that you crying they are happy,but you make them happy with your smile, you cried alone without no one's know. But you're really tough inside,you've made this far,everyone with you,Allah always with you,no matter how hard,Allah don't test you with over your limits,but its between your limits,that's mean you strong,strong enough to make your life this far. Ask your self, find your limits, what're you gonna do? rewind back your memory to find solution for your problem.i know you know it

  2. awk ditag :) komen 1..


assalamualaikum / salam sejahtera ! i am afisya afida.